So according to this here blog, I haven't posted in more than 3 years. Um, procrastinate much?
So where the hell have I been? Life got in the way. Aliens abducted me. I got mistaken for Kevin James and have been in Los Angeles shooting Mall Cop 2: Blart Strikes Back.
Actually, I got caught up near a rip in time fabric in the alt-universe and the Fringe team Ambered the entire block.*
Truth be told. Life just plain got in the way. I once read in Writer's Digest that if you say you don't have time to write, then you're not making your writing high enough priority. And while that piece of no-shit-Sherlock wisdom can pretty much apply to anything**, it pretty much fits me like my favorite pair of skinny jeans.***
For those of you who tuned in to FAT GUY before when I mused about my weight loss surgery experiences, I won't leave you hanging. I'm still around 30-35 lbs. down (give or take a hamburger or two) from my pre-weight loss surgery, which, if you read the fine print in all the commercials, it tells you that 30-35 pounds is the average amount of weight loss lap band patients achieve. The ones who lose 100-plus work out like 8 times a day. That's not me folks. I don't have time to write and/or work on my toenail sculptures, much less work out.
So if I would take my rotund caboose to the gym every once in a while, I might lose a pound or two more. But I've lost 30 pounds, and that can add up to 10 years on to my lifespan. So, the good news is that I'm not going anywhere, at least for another 10 years anyway.
The better news is that I've found my writing mojo again. And of all places, I found it at my 25-year high school reunion this past weekend. I ran into a friend who I hadn't seen in, you guessed it, 25 years. She told me that she had just LOVED what I was writing previously here on FAT GUY, so much so that she got her husband to read it. Then, said husband proceeded to tell me how much he enjoyed it and how funny it was.
So thank you to high school friend and said husband. Your compliments have inspired me. Was great to see you and meet said husband, too.
What can you expect from FAT GUY 2.0? Same warped sense of outlook on the world, applied to whatever tickles my underbelly. And hopefully a little more often than once every three years.
One last thing ... you'll notice I've done the whole asterisk/footnote thing here. I saw it in an Adam Davies book once and I kinda liked it. I thought it would save on the overusage of parentheses. Not sure if I like it or not. Guess we'll see.
And a piece of advice: make sure you go to your high school reunion. All the people you didn't know that well in high school and who you thought weren't cool are now very nice people and, in fact, are likely cooler than you are now. Plus, you never know what you'll find.
Until next time, peace, love and footnotes.
* The wife and I are on 5th and final season of a Fringe-a-thon, so you're likely to see many more Fringe references. I can see the question mark forming over your heads already.
** I don't have time to make life-sized statues of the cast of Firefly out of toenail clippings either, so I guess that, too, has fallen down my priority list.
*** Yep. Try to get THAT image out of your head.